Today ms siti going!!~

haiz... today ms siti last day in hyss le... so sad! ytd hv ava meeting, i go 1e3 wait jia yin. then they taking photo with ms siti, all ask me take tgt worh... then take with jy and ms siti, so many camera sia!!! play wif miiee izzit =,= then coco go push jy to me, ms siti take alot photo today say wan tag me aww! then i ask her help me pass rose to jy :D coz if i gv sure all make fun de lorh... early bday present+anniversary mah :D so sad sia today ms siti last day, nobody supervise me(ms siti sit behind me during geog) i scared lose ctrl sia then all start laughing coz i laugh! then mrs heng scarly faint arh whole class laughing at NTH!! so sad, today add ms siti fb. she hv 1000++ photo leh! sad sia tmr she go le, then i found out she nt going overseas LOL haha then relieved? she say come back we all graduated lerh but then can come back on event mah haha, then invite all ppl go 1 chat all add ms siti! ADVERTISING~~ LOL so fun but veh noisy lol. today i try cut myself use ashley scissors but then nt sharp enough or maybe i no strength? haven eat bah... only mark leh... then aft recess sk hao le, ashley emo... i dk he help her, i feel so useless when i try to help her but cant worh. haiz...

Today no gd.

Today morning still ok, then aft recess, ashley n sencia started emo-ing. Ashley emo coz wh nvr show her more concern and like show the whole grp concern(except me) except her, she then emo, sencia suddenly emo. Ask her dun emo she only nod head, ask her y emo, she only shake head. Ashley also same. Then i affected, alot, i emo also. then i go scratch myself during maths lesson, aft that hv spots, i think caused by too much scratching? i also dk, then i use wallet chain whack, a while ltr use watch whack, then aft maths, music, ms liau quite gd mood today, normally she come in scold the ppl who misbehave, but today she come in emo face, then suddenly we greet that time, she say, no eat izzit? then cheered us all up, abit. Then since all relaxed, i saw sk hv penknife, i go snatch, tried cutting my hand, at 1st she snatched away, then when she nt looking i snatch agn, naughty rite... cant ctrl myself. then i saw she hv scissors, can tell wad came to my mind? i go take, but she no see. then i started cutting, aft 2 slice nth happy, no mark no pain no bleeding, anything also dun hv, by the time she snatched back. then she nt looking i snatch agn, then she snatched back =,=... then i walk pass remus table saw scissors, quite sharp de. i go take, i say lend me yi xia. then i cut, 5 to 6 slice only mark, then 5s ltr, hv blood come out, that moment my feelings was, happy, glad, that thr was blood, then i too happy dint think, go tell sk, smore in a happy way, then she told joyce, who told rachel, they threaten tell ms liau. i say only small cut, then they say, small cut dunnid scared tell cher, i almost knelt dwn beg them... then joyce say wan tell tr, even scared! then i faster try quan her dun tell. then aft that the blood only so small lorh... but this show they concern abt me, i happy abt that... then come back play game, 3hrs to relax? but that game violent, make me feel worse, then chat msn with jia yin, she very diff on msn and in rl life, i prefer her rl life coz more relaxed, i chat with her msn smtimes dk wad to say cai hao... and i also dwun hurt her feelings. i really wished can hv more time for me cut my hand, i wan make longer and bigger scar. then bathe all the blood marks gone, so dissappointed. also cannot make too big and too long, ltr chre saw tell mum, i scared joyce tell cher cher tell mum that y tried all means to sotp joyce, i really down today... then come back jy still like this chat... nt blaming her, just feel sad for myself, i cry ytd night, listen to 'my love' love that seems so far away, can also say that for the love my parents and me once shared in the past. i long for that forgotten and lost love, although if i had really got that love now, i wouldn't know how to use it or show it anymore, im now relying on the love fwens in school and jy gv me, to fill up the space the love which my parents should gv me had left behind. I think im getting weaker by day mentally, i get mood swings frm small matters that are 'sad', they make me very sad. Trust me, frm my primary sch life, i nvr had true fwens b4, maybe only 3 to 4 of them, but now we dont hang out tgt anymore, only truely TRUE fwens are sk's grp now. I love them alot. But nt sure whether they love me, and tr also, i regard him as sk's grp, so i dint really leave him out. These ppl i love them more than anything else. I really hope they can stay with me all the way, maybe they dont like me like amanda and sy... which i dun really know. i hope they nvr dun like me n pretend that they still hangout with me...

Thats all bah... i think long post

By, Onew Lover

OHH!

Today mrning normal, need hand up journal worh then i nvr bring coz i brought a smaller bag. then monday lorh, progress report card also need, haven sign haiz! then all monday, today hw is geog, music and eng, completed eng and geog lerh. go jp with joyce jiejie, chel momma, and sk~ go the lib, laugh like hell! ppl look at me like siao. Then go the playgrnd thr play a while ass pain! At 5.45 go hm coz fri 13th and 7th leh... reach hm at 6.15 :) then use com. then saw a vid on fb so sad! a dog saving its owner, i keep imagining i hv a dog then it did that for me, i cried sia... i purposely go watch 1 more time to make myself cry 1 more time. :D siao rite? i know hehe. then share with jy and chel and joyce and ashley. dk they hv cry or nt, but jy cried! my mum and bro no cry so emo de seeet them haha no off. then my dad watch, dk hv cry or nt, i gving everyone watch that vid leh~ wonder they hv cry or nt. :D. today nothing special happened worh, too boring a day. thats all for taday's post bah... i know i long time no post le ps arh too tired leh. then today suddenly hv a little mood. force myself post yi diandian hahas. sry arh...

Thats all for todays post bah :)

By, Onew Lover

today arh, no gd and gd

Today morning no duty, but suddenly hv assembly, done by wkiat. came early to discuss abt chalet with ashley, sk, joyce, marcus, sencia, rachel and me! haizz today lesson only geo and chi. geo go through test, chi write sad compo... then i stuck at the title thr. <<>> write mu, erase, write fu, erase. i dk which one to write, mu scared too short. fu scared to let cher know. then sk ask whether can dun write this kind of topic. then cher start toking abt his childhood, he say his dad is navy, ea yr see him less than 5 times. wheneva they meet, his dad will bring him out, buy shoes, buy clothes, buy things for him, hv lunch and dinner tgt. i hear until here, i cry. i kept comparing his dad with mine, the diff is like, more than 100miles leh... maybe abit of envy. i cried, aft tat i think sk also cry, dint notice too much, i just heard sniffing beside me. then aft tat cher ask me who i closest to me now, i say mum, he ask me write mum then, dun write dad. and as i expected, i wrote only 4/5 pg, i go ask cher for forgiveness, cant write anymore. he forgave me :) he say, nxt time write more can le, then go ava duty, went to 1E3 to 'escort' kjy and esthu. go hall for NDP assembly, then wkiat say we did quite good today. relieved to hear this, coz ytd much worse, i standby inhaler just in case wkiat shout leh ytd. but he dint, surprising lorh... actually hv ava training in aftnoon, last min cancelled, happy and sad, happy coz i veh tired sad coz no training, i dwun go hm. go hm on laptop, then msn, kjy no on. i go dwnstair eat bun and drink teh :O anyway fri dunnid scared slp late. i cried coz of smth ymm said, and im surprised. but aft tat he encouraged me alot. 1st thks to u ymm. i wrote in my compo, tat i wished my dad **** cant say, nt f.u.c.k dun think dirty. just a cheng yu or idiom. 4 words, corrcet mah. then go gm hse slp today, dwun stay at hm, staying hm gimme pressure...

tats all for today, buhbye~

By, Onew Lover(overall nt gd)

haizz

Today morning go duty, chloe and yee min lai le~ then no tok, then morning veh fast set up hao le then chat alot, hyper in the morning but aft poetry slam, 1200pm then start no mood. by 1, haizz sexuality tok~ then go back class ms liau, no assembly! coz of those crap. then ms liau saw sk and ashley and sencia pass notes, actually i think is 'DOMO' bah... then ms liau ask ashley gv her the paper, then ashley gv her she say she saw 2 pieces, force them u gv her another invisible piece... then dun hv she say, 'pass me the class diary' then asthma come. faster inhaler :'O, think coz i scared. ytd also mah scared until asthma, today also lorh... maybe scared cher rec the 3 of them, worried for them, sk and ashley no mood. make wo no mood also. then aft sch, (at 2) then eat lunch, assemble at 1E1 for sc interview, then suddenly sk and ashley start toking everything abt nervous arh~ all those then i lax le. coz see they ok le, then sencia go netball. jiu k le! then nw joyce turn, she say wong wan ting hv sc interview, will go 1E1. dwun her to sit on joyce de chair. joyce ask me put bag at her seat, to book! :D i put kjy de hahas. then interview hv 8 sc!! scared die me. then aft tat actually hv ava duty, frm 3.30 onwards. suddenly cancelled. then say wan sk hse. suddenly joyce and tr dwun go :O. sencia netball ashley dunno go whr, marcus inno, rachel also dunno go whr left only me amanda and sk. amanda and sk sure ply dog derh... then i also dwun go :D actually wan watch the maid, i watch myself sure die haizz~ come back hm headache, lie in bed abt 1hr 30mins dwn thr dwun walk headache arh~ hv fever, smore so hot i think tat y headache. i dwun tell anyone hv fever, i wan go sch, dwun stay at hm. go sch more laxed than at hm. then mum dad and bro go jp, i dwun go coz headache i ask them da pao for me :') then jiu blog and msn lorh, bored mah... hv maths hw, headache cant do haizz copy frm brandon >.o :D

anyways, today overall nt gd, buhbyes~

By, Onew Lover

GOOD DAY, 1st one

Today tell joyce they all the happy thing :) then frm joyce to chel, these 2 to wh, these 3 to sencia, these 4 to sk, these 5 to amanda, then arh haizz! DBT they all then suddenly whole gang know LOL then at recess joyce saw kjy, become damn high then sot diao le LOL then jio her go jp, kjy today look happy, i happy for her :D, can but then ltr joyce they all say dwun go le go sk hse then kjy dwun go :(. go there watch 'the orphanage' scary and touching de. hv ghost. sk hv dog, dog keep lick ashley then scratch her, until ashley hide in kitchen close glass door LOL then i watch scary part damn scared and nervous for the lady, she looking for her son. then scared until asthma come, but i dk why... i go ignore it LOL planning to get inhaler aft show finish, then suddenly all the loud noises frm the show no more, stop le. then my breathing damn loud, no one notice lols then i think ashley wan say 'eh scary sia' coz only we 2 playing attention. everyone playing the dog and runing frm the dog. then she turn saw me breathing damn hard then shout asthma!! then everyone ask whr my inhaler, then coz joyce saw in morning i keep then she know :O wonder tr hv jealous or nt ARH!! hv i die... :( then damn happy, experienced love agn frm best fwens :)/:D. folo rachel hm coz dk hw go hm lols take 98 actually then i go take 240 to jp then 198 back lols waste time. LOVE ALL MY BEST FWENS!!! :D:D:D aft asthma hands shiver like siao sia. then on 240 marvus sae he 1st time see ppl atk =,= ask me alot abt asthma hahas i told him, dint say-u think asthma fun meh? coz i think asthma fun

hahas, Bye

By, Onew Lover(happy)