happy bday~

Today rachel's bday, happy bday to u~ luv u de sorry dint gv u present, hadn't had the time to go get it... so sorry~ even i buy u also wun accept, only can quietly wish u happy bday... :) stay happy rachel chua~

Omg...

Today wake up 8.20am... why so early siak i ytd slp at 12 leh... late horh? i know :P then i wake up use com, msn and game. :) then someone attempt to force a secret outta me, i cnt say who cuz... jiu shi dwun tell :P~ force until veh chan but i nvr say, will affect alot ppl... normally i early say out le... then went to jp wif tr, meet at 1.30, i 1 go busstop then reach at abt 1.15. i tap out my card left 0.95!!! then we stay until 5. go lib entrance wait for my mum cuz she say wan gimme money to top up my brother's and my card. then tr wait wif me for her, then i go in car that time mum toking on phone, abt dad matters agn... sad... she say that my dad say to hre THIS AFTERNOON that she can find other man but cnt bring them home, wad crap is this... cuz he hv woman, then he smore tell my mum that he and the slut breakup luhh. then obviously haven rite? my dad nt those kind of 'GOOD SAMARITAN' pui! he go die beta. then today my mum gng out wif her frens, kinda gd cuz she gets to relax and nt feel so tensed up. then reach my gm hse that time only uncle brother playing com, cousins hving tuition, sian then blog lorh... my life veh 'exciting' horh, i know... exciting until i cnt take it wanna just collapse and die. the world would be a beta place without me. today go jp walk on certain pathways still think of them... miss them so much? think so... :'(

By, Jia Yin Lover

sad recently... :'(

Recently lost all my frens... Why? i totally dk anyth until they make everything obvious then i realised they all hating me... a while aft they hate me, i kept thinking that it was cuz of my cutting thing. Then realised its not, ppl arnd me tell me diff stories i dk how to change to make everything turn for the beta... really depressed at first when i found out my frens who console me, treat me as gd fren(maybe not now) i recall all the times i had wif them. Go jp also wan cry out loud le, saw that sk and chel removed me from their fb siblings... so hurt... :'( ppl tell me is cuz of my attitude, then another person say is cuz i tiao bo li jian, then ppl tell me is cuz i too action, i dk which one to work on, tiao bo li jian i dun even know whether i hv anot, maybe to me dun hv to them actually they thinking i wan spoil their relationship... my attitude is always say shit u...? i stopped for a long time alr... tired of it. i too action, may be bah... im sorry, will try and change de... sry i hv dissappointed u all, thks for the time u gave me and the things u taught me.

1) How to top up ez link card

2) How to go to jp(was a mountain tortoise last time)

3) Helped me on my homework ALOT!!!

4) Cheered me up until i got over the things that happened.

5) How to be independant

6) Taught me to be naughtier a bit(beta than being a geek/gig)

7) Listen to me when im down...

8) Willing to teach me with patience when i dont know anything

9) Told me wad to do when im at a lost...

10) Became a more happy person.

Easily came out wif 10... Hope u all can gv me 1 more chance, i cant afford to lose u all :'( at first i thought that it was impossible for u all to hate me overnight, i think is cuz u all hv not been very happy wif me for some time alr, just enduring, rite? I know... sry sry sry i truely realised my mistake, pls forgive me... :'( cried while posting. If u all think that ur life will be beta without me i understand... at most i'll just go, get out of ur sight. Wad matters is u'll are happy... :') Hope that chance in ur hands will come to me soon... :( will be anticipating its arrival...

Today rain a bit, we stay back to study in the canteen, jy esther and me~ then stay until 3++ wait for 1e3ians to come out from their remedial, then wkiat say many many things to esther, which make my hair stand :O then aft that 940 hannah jy and me go bbt shop, hannah buy bbt oreo chocolate!! ltr fat fat. 940 wan try i tell her dun cuz ltr fat fat lol. then 940 try the machine, 1 time mine alr!! then she fail haiz... bhb lol. then aft that walk to jy busstop wif her. play rain at thr, then i listen earpiece jy take my phone, then she pull me in. cnt play rain... :(/:) :( cuz cnt play rain :) cuz jy care~ :D. how i wish the 99 / 185horh, come later, come so fast!! barely 5min come take her away frm me... :( then walk home in the rain~ keep think of jy~ so faithful horh~? i dont think so. :(

Luv u all,

Elvin

By Onew Lover

Today ms siti going!!~

haiz... today ms siti last day in hyss le... so sad! ytd hv ava meeting, i go 1e3 wait jia yin. then they taking photo with ms siti, all ask me take tgt worh... then take with jy and ms siti, so many camera sia!!! play wif miiee izzit =,= then coco go push jy to me, ms siti take alot photo today say wan tag me aww! then i ask her help me pass rose to jy :D coz if i gv sure all make fun de lorh... early bday present+anniversary mah :D so sad sia today ms siti last day, nobody supervise me(ms siti sit behind me during geog) i scared lose ctrl sia then all start laughing coz i laugh! then mrs heng scarly faint arh whole class laughing at NTH!! so sad, today add ms siti fb. she hv 1000++ photo leh! sad sia tmr she go le, then i found out she nt going overseas LOL haha then relieved? she say come back we all graduated lerh but then can come back on event mah haha, then invite all ppl go 1 chat all add ms siti! ADVERTISING~~ LOL so fun but veh noisy lol. today i try cut myself use ashley scissors but then nt sharp enough or maybe i no strength? haven eat bah... only mark leh... then aft recess sk hao le, ashley emo... i dk he help her, i feel so useless when i try to help her but cant worh. haiz...

Today no gd.

Today morning still ok, then aft recess, ashley n sencia started emo-ing. Ashley emo coz wh nvr show her more concern and like show the whole grp concern(except me) except her, she then emo, sencia suddenly emo. Ask her dun emo she only nod head, ask her y emo, she only shake head. Ashley also same. Then i affected, alot, i emo also. then i go scratch myself during maths lesson, aft that hv spots, i think caused by too much scratching? i also dk, then i use wallet chain whack, a while ltr use watch whack, then aft maths, music, ms liau quite gd mood today, normally she come in scold the ppl who misbehave, but today she come in emo face, then suddenly we greet that time, she say, no eat izzit? then cheered us all up, abit. Then since all relaxed, i saw sk hv penknife, i go snatch, tried cutting my hand, at 1st she snatched away, then when she nt looking i snatch agn, naughty rite... cant ctrl myself. then i saw she hv scissors, can tell wad came to my mind? i go take, but she no see. then i started cutting, aft 2 slice nth happy, no mark no pain no bleeding, anything also dun hv, by the time she snatched back. then she nt looking i snatch agn, then she snatched back =,=... then i walk pass remus table saw scissors, quite sharp de. i go take, i say lend me yi xia. then i cut, 5 to 6 slice only mark, then 5s ltr, hv blood come out, that moment my feelings was, happy, glad, that thr was blood, then i too happy dint think, go tell sk, smore in a happy way, then she told joyce, who told rachel, they threaten tell ms liau. i say only small cut, then they say, small cut dunnid scared tell cher, i almost knelt dwn beg them... then joyce say wan tell tr, even scared! then i faster try quan her dun tell. then aft that the blood only so small lorh... but this show they concern abt me, i happy abt that... then come back play game, 3hrs to relax? but that game violent, make me feel worse, then chat msn with jia yin, she very diff on msn and in rl life, i prefer her rl life coz more relaxed, i chat with her msn smtimes dk wad to say cai hao... and i also dwun hurt her feelings. i really wished can hv more time for me cut my hand, i wan make longer and bigger scar. then bathe all the blood marks gone, so dissappointed. also cannot make too big and too long, ltr chre saw tell mum, i scared joyce tell cher cher tell mum that y tried all means to sotp joyce, i really down today... then come back jy still like this chat... nt blaming her, just feel sad for myself, i cry ytd night, listen to 'my love' love that seems so far away, can also say that for the love my parents and me once shared in the past. i long for that forgotten and lost love, although if i had really got that love now, i wouldn't know how to use it or show it anymore, im now relying on the love fwens in school and jy gv me, to fill up the space the love which my parents should gv me had left behind. I think im getting weaker by day mentally, i get mood swings frm small matters that are 'sad', they make me very sad. Trust me, frm my primary sch life, i nvr had true fwens b4, maybe only 3 to 4 of them, but now we dont hang out tgt anymore, only truely TRUE fwens are sk's grp now. I love them alot. But nt sure whether they love me, and tr also, i regard him as sk's grp, so i dint really leave him out. These ppl i love them more than anything else. I really hope they can stay with me all the way, maybe they dont like me like amanda and sy... which i dun really know. i hope they nvr dun like me n pretend that they still hangout with me...

Thats all bah... i think long post

By, Onew Lover

OHH!

Today mrning normal, need hand up journal worh then i nvr bring coz i brought a smaller bag. then monday lorh, progress report card also need, haven sign haiz! then all monday, today hw is geog, music and eng, completed eng and geog lerh. go jp with joyce jiejie, chel momma, and sk~ go the lib, laugh like hell! ppl look at me like siao. Then go the playgrnd thr play a while ass pain! At 5.45 go hm coz fri 13th and 7th leh... reach hm at 6.15 :) then use com. then saw a vid on fb so sad! a dog saving its owner, i keep imagining i hv a dog then it did that for me, i cried sia... i purposely go watch 1 more time to make myself cry 1 more time. :D siao rite? i know hehe. then share with jy and chel and joyce and ashley. dk they hv cry or nt, but jy cried! my mum and bro no cry so emo de seeet them haha no off. then my dad watch, dk hv cry or nt, i gving everyone watch that vid leh~ wonder they hv cry or nt. :D. today nothing special happened worh, too boring a day. thats all for taday's post bah... i know i long time no post le ps arh too tired leh. then today suddenly hv a little mood. force myself post yi diandian hahas. sry arh...

Thats all for todays post bah :)

By, Onew Lover

today arh, no gd and gd

Today morning no duty, but suddenly hv assembly, done by wkiat. came early to discuss abt chalet with ashley, sk, joyce, marcus, sencia, rachel and me! haizz today lesson only geo and chi. geo go through test, chi write sad compo... then i stuck at the title thr. <<>> write mu, erase, write fu, erase. i dk which one to write, mu scared too short. fu scared to let cher know. then sk ask whether can dun write this kind of topic. then cher start toking abt his childhood, he say his dad is navy, ea yr see him less than 5 times. wheneva they meet, his dad will bring him out, buy shoes, buy clothes, buy things for him, hv lunch and dinner tgt. i hear until here, i cry. i kept comparing his dad with mine, the diff is like, more than 100miles leh... maybe abit of envy. i cried, aft tat i think sk also cry, dint notice too much, i just heard sniffing beside me. then aft tat cher ask me who i closest to me now, i say mum, he ask me write mum then, dun write dad. and as i expected, i wrote only 4/5 pg, i go ask cher for forgiveness, cant write anymore. he forgave me :) he say, nxt time write more can le, then go ava duty, went to 1E3 to 'escort' kjy and esthu. go hall for NDP assembly, then wkiat say we did quite good today. relieved to hear this, coz ytd much worse, i standby inhaler just in case wkiat shout leh ytd. but he dint, surprising lorh... actually hv ava training in aftnoon, last min cancelled, happy and sad, happy coz i veh tired sad coz no training, i dwun go hm. go hm on laptop, then msn, kjy no on. i go dwnstair eat bun and drink teh :O anyway fri dunnid scared slp late. i cried coz of smth ymm said, and im surprised. but aft tat he encouraged me alot. 1st thks to u ymm. i wrote in my compo, tat i wished my dad **** cant say, nt f.u.c.k dun think dirty. just a cheng yu or idiom. 4 words, corrcet mah. then go gm hse slp today, dwun stay at hm, staying hm gimme pressure...

tats all for today, buhbye~

By, Onew Lover(overall nt gd)